Online Dating 101: Photos

You don't need to have the skills of a famous fashion photographer, but for best results you should do more than point and click. Follow these eHarmony Photo Guidelines to put your best face forward.

What kind of pictures should I put on my profile? This has been a question of mine for a very long while.Will everyone see them, or just certain people I want them to be seen by?

I think you should post pictures that show you doing various things in your life that show your personality. Let one be a "candy" picture and the others, just be you doing things you like. A picture is worth a thousand words and I think this shows as much as your personality profile will tell.

Great topic for debate!! Should the photographs be airbrushed so that we look pretty and flawless? Does a photograph provide enough information for us to gauge chemistry or no chemistry? I posted just regular photographs sans airbrushing but then I read advice that doing so lands one a high number of matches and what about all the airbrushing ads. I for one need to know the real person and because looks really do not matter I cannot let photographs dictate the presence or absence of chemistry. Chemistry for me is the whole person - personality, spirituality, mannerisms, values and everything else that makes us that person. What say you?

First off, I am a 62 year old guy and as the majority of men, am visual. While I certainly am realistic about a matches appearance, there must be some initial interest based on what you see. That is why I post my photos initally, it saves time if I am not your idea of visually appealing. Women in their 50/60s, are appealing to me because I feel much more comfortable with them. I have noticed the majority of women list HONESTY as one of the most important attributes in a match!! A photo is a quick way to judge that, in the sense when you meet, do you look like like your photos? I would look much better, facial wise, if had the bags under my eyes magically removed, however that would be readily noticed whem meeting. Do I lose my honesty credibility then? It is often a letdown when you meet somone and you don't recognize them from their photos. Maybe I have unrealistic expectations, would like hear a woman's perspective on this.

I don't think i look very good in my pictures and haven't had them taken in a long time; but men won't proceed in getting to know me unless i post a photo; also i don't own a digital camera and wouldn't know how to upload a photo if i did. I don't look as stylish as those of my age nor do i look as old as i am;but it is hard to compete with those that have it all together

Friends: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I know a guy who actually looks a lot like King Kong and he has a wife who loves him and adores him and respects him completely. I also know a woman who is only 4'6" tall, VERY heavy and her hair is thinning noticeably. She has a somewhat chubby boyfriend who thinks the world of her AND I happen to know (because he told me) that they have great sex! What's my point? Read the first sentence again: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Forget about competing with "those that have it all together". Trust me, no one in the world has "got it all together". Looks fade away. Wisdom and internal beauty can grow in us if we work on ourselves . . . from the inside out! Good Luck everyone! Reverend Johnny

I agree with you to a certain extent Rev. Johnny, but still people who go on eharmony looking for a match are not doing themselves a service by refusing to post a photo. Why spend the money and then sabatoge yourself by not getting the most matches for your money. Would you spend good money to make a purchase of something that matters to you sight unseen? Then why expect a person to get to know you sight unseen? A picture is a part of you. Does what you say represent who you truly are? We've all "doctored up" our resume so whose to say your profile truly represents who you are? Why put time energy and money in the website and then not post a photo? Why get a match spend time talking to them, then get your hopes built up to meet them and meet and they've built up an image of you in their mind and when they meet you it's different? Get the visual thing out of the way at the beginning. Yes looks fade that goes without saying but that doesn't mean you should deny potential matches the opportunity to "look" at you. When I see a match without his picture posted, I'm not interested because I immediately think he has something to hide. And if he's not comfortable enough with his own looks to just put them out there for, then that's going to be a problem with us. Stop blaming other people and calling them shallow because for your own reasons you don't feel comfortable posting your picture. That's on you, not anyone else. If you have 3 eyes with the third eye smack in the middle of your forehead, put the picture out there and get it out of the way. Then if a match contacts you, you'll know they've already gotten past the third eye and now they want to get to know what you're about. ;-)

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. It is rather important to visibly see a picture of the person. It saves time. I refuse to have a date with someone without first being able to look at a picture of the person I will be dating. All that glitter is not gold but, a better way of analyzing the glitter is picture possible. A picture tells a thousand words.

KATE You ARE NOT competing only with who have it all together. Many of us(me)are not that photogenic. Most of us are realistic in finding a person who we are attracted to knowing we will not attract the beauty queens or kings. Find a friend with a digital camera to help you, have several poses from casual to dressed up, and be yourself. At least you are not sending pictures from long ago. Best of luck in finding a great guy!

It would be very nice to know the recommended photo dimensions and resolution in order to post the best possible quality in minimum upload time.

Well, Veritus is correct, that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. However, the young lady at the photo place in the mall beholds me in a different way than I behold myself when I take my picture with my own phone! Most of the photos that the ladies post on this service (if they post one at all) are not doing them any favors. For crying out loud at least put a little effort into it! It is one thing to want to be loved for the "inner you", but when your picture has the severed arm of your ex around you, it's hard to go much further.

Let's give it a try. We can meet for coffee, snowshoeing, sking, snowmobiling (I got two), Let's have some fun while we get to know each other. John

I think we need to cut each other a break here. Professional photos are prohibitively expensive, and the only time most people have a picture taken of themselves, they are in a group situation (holiday dinner, office party, etc.). Many don't own a camera (let alone a digital one), particularly those over 50. So if we have to post a "chopped" photo, ease up on us!

Taking a photo of yourself with a digital camera is a big mistake. It will not help to find a date let alone a mate. Go to a professional if really interested in changing your life.

I can understand people's security/privacy concerns about posting photos, but it's VERY important. I shave my head, and this is a look that is a big turn-off for some women. Additionally, my looks in-general are pretty "average" at best. Though I don't particularly like posting photos of myself on the Internet, I know it's critically important. If a woman is going to reject me based on looks, I'd much prefer she do it right off the bat as opposed to later... after she's invested a lot of time into communicating with me. I don't like appearance-based rejection any more than anyone else--it's a bitter pill to swallow--but it's important to weed out those people early in the process, remain positive, and keep trying.

I do think a picture is important, weather its a head shot or more of a full length. No one is going to be right on this one. Or on the other side if you think one should be put up to be matched or not. What I don't or didn't like. Is I didn't know I was going to start getting matched up without my picture being up. I didn't have a picture on my computer at the time to put up when signing up. And I was already closed out because of not having a photo posted at the time. It should of had a option to click that you don't want matched until you get a picture uploaded.