Anyway to reflect this in match settings....

When I receive new matches, I tend to run them through what I call the "Shop And Travel" test. I do a full text search of their profile for the words 'shop' and 'travel', and if she prominently mentions she loves shopping or traveling, I close her down right then. When a woman says she loves shopping the first thing that pops into my mind is 'fiscally irresponsible'. And with traveling, I'd like to do some, but I don't want every vacation I go on to be a traveling one. Unlike most people, traveling for a vacation is not even slightly relaxing for me.

In any case, I wonder if anyone knows if there are settings in EH that would filter these matches out.

It sounds to me like you're being awfully picky.

I love to shop (don't have it in my profile), but that doesn't make me irresponsible. I may go "shopping" and not buy anything. I love thrift shops and the Goodwill.

I also love to travel but don't want to do it all the time. Just because someone likes to travel doesn't mean that they will always want to travel for a vacation.

I don't think there is any EH filter for that.

I don't see how it's all that picky. People should try to date and marry people they're compatible with. If I think every other vacation I go on is going to include spending a gob of money fighting my way through airports, that's going to be problematic.

As for the shopping thing, this is a bit more complex. I know that some women shop just to shop and don't buy things. But I have no way of telling those kind apart from the fiscally irresponsible.

That's what Open Communication is for.

We'll agree to disagree ok.

I agree that people should marry and be compatable, but there will always be something about the other person that you don't like. Maybe you like to watch sports and she hates it. That's what compromise is.

I think if you choose not to communicate just because someone likes to shop and travel you may miss out on some great matches and possibly a great soulmate.

Unless you're trying to find that homebody who doesn't want to travel outside her local area, I think you need to look at the context of what traveling means to her. Traveling doesn't have to mean airports and exotic locations, and lots of people can travel frugally. But it would better to close the match out if she likes to travel, and you don't like traveling, get anxious at being in unfamilar surroundings and being exposed to new foods and experiences.

What if she says she travels for work? Also travel does not have to mean airports and stress. What kind of vacations do you take?

If I closed out the women who said they enjoyed traveling or shopping, I wouldn't have had many matches left. I love to travel also but typically, I go "out of state" maybe twice a year. I would think you would want to find ways to be matched with more women, not less. You really don't know what they mean by "likes to shop" or "likes to travel", you're just assuming.

One of the things I REALLY disliked about online dating is...we have a tendency to skim through the smorgasbord of choices and look for who is, as we perceive it, our "ideal". We would never do that in real life. We couldn't. We date someone to find out more about them. We really know very little about someone online, even if they appear to be perfect for us. If you go to open communication or...even on a date, you're not committed to anything.

Oh, you are all too picky! What you are looking for is Miss Perfect. Let me clue you in, she doesn't exist. A lot of people like window shopping- which is shopping if you think about it. doesn't mean they go shopping at the Lamborghini dealership! You may think traveling is going to Paris and other exotic places. But it could mean just going on a drive to a national park in the US. This is like me saying if a guy mentions the word sex, i'm gonna close him down because he is a sex pervert!

+1

Well, we all have the right to be 'picky' of somesort. However, IMHO, your way of closing your match(es) - which is merely based on the words 'shopping and traveling' will not lead you to 'better fish in the pond'. Read the profile thoroughly. If lots of other things piqued your interest(s), but yet she still have 'shopping' and 'traveling' - why not try to contact her and get to know her more during OC?

Pratically everyone says 'I like to travel' or 'want to see the world'. Doesn't mean they do it. Its just one of the things people say like 'I love the outdoors/beach/water'. Don't read too much into these ubiquitous statements. As for shopping about half the women in the world like to shop not all of them are irresponsible about it just cause it make them happy to do it.

I have had matches that say something like "I love to shop, I'm a girl". I, too view this as an indication of financially irresponsible.

On the travel front I look for words like NYC and Las Vegas or the mention of lots of foreign countries. I would like to travel but I am thinking more like places that I can drive too in less than a day or a cruise.

I actually haven't had a vacation since March of last year (work has been bad) but when I do go on vacation, I tend to spend some of it just having some time to myself. The rest, I tend to like outdoors type things. I'll go hunting with my uncle, or camping with friends or do some fishing. The great thing about living in Kentucky is you don't have to go far to do that stuff. We have Kentucky Lake and Barkley Lake within 20 miles of my home. Great for camping and fishing. If the mountains is your thing, the Smoky Mountains are in nearby Tennessee and Current River in the Ozark Mountains is only about a 6 hour drive. If I'm wanting something more cultural, Nashville, TN is only a 2 hour drive. I used to take Arabic language lessons at a school there. If you can do that, you can do nearly anything. Also, New Orleans is only a 9 hour drive from where I live, again, if you're wanting to do something cultural.

I did a bit of traveling when I was younger. And every time it turned out to be far more stressful than relaxing. Not to mention ridiculously expensive.

Well stated. This exactly how I view both situations.

Well, I'm not looking for someone who is just like me. I don't want someone who enjoys the very same things I enjoy. Wouldn't care to be around someone who only enjoys the same sights and sounds I do.

There'd be nothing new to get a chance to love. Just through friends alone, I've found new music to like, new types of food to enjoy, and because of one friend, I now actually like or more so love, basketball. Before...hated all sports. Or at least thought I did.

I guess if this is the way I'm supposed to be reading into things, for every man who says he loves spending time with his children, I should take that as he probably spends every waking moment with them and alot of time dealing with their mother and has no time for me, and if he loves to cook...I guess that tells me he's unhealthy and eats too much.

I need to go now. I've got about 100% of my matches to close out.