Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Using eHarmony If you have questions or comments about eHarmony's matching process, post it here. Or, lend your guidance and support to a fellow eHarmony member.

Reply
Page 4 of 5 « First 2 3 4 5
 
LinkBack (2) Thread Tools
ScottK ScottK is offline
ScottK's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Nov 2007

Posts: 1,185

See profile

Oregon_Coast_Guy wrote :
I just don't understand the desire to wish good luck to someone who rejected you.
Manners?

I view it as they just don't think you are a good Match.

No problem, I understand. I hope your EHarmony search goes well, and you find what you are looking for. I would hope they feel the same for me.
Thus, "Good luck with your search".

I suppose if you live your life with the view of the glass half empty, it is always rejection at its core.

I suppose you don't see any use in saying Please and Thank You anymore either?

Whats the point, right?
Especially Thank You. Its "after the fact", so it doesn't gain you anything, right?

Yet, I say Thank You all the time.
Why?
Because I like to treat people how I would be liked to be treated.
- November 3rd, 2009, 10:54 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#31   Reply With Quote
pussinboots pussinboots is offline
pussinboots's Avatar

pussinboots is sitting next to the bearded randy geezer to discuss head transplants

Pacesetter

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 384

See profile

ScottK wrote :
No, I was thinking in bigger terms, like knowing if our Matches are paying members or not, or perhaps evening out the unlevelness of the playing field of requiring "Height", by also requiring "Weight/Body Type".

BTW, Nudges DO work.
I HAVE had successful nudges that have led to dates.

I can't help it if your Matches don't respond to yours.
???Hmmm

At the least we can agree that nudges have been successful for you - but not me, although I've rrarely used it. And also that I have been successful going further after re-opening a match because of the good luck message.
- November 3rd, 2009, 11:17 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#32   Reply With Quote
pussinboots pussinboots is offline
pussinboots's Avatar

pussinboots is sitting next to the bearded randy geezer to discuss head transplants

Pacesetter

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 384

See profile

ScottK wrote :
Manners?

I view it as they just don't think you are a good Match.

No problem, I understand. I hope your EHarmony search goes well, and you find what you are looking for. I would hope they feel the same for me.
Thus, "Good luck with your search".

I suppose if you live your life with the view of the glass half empty, it is always rejection at its core.

I suppose you don't see any use in saying Please and Thank You anymore either?

Whats the point, right?
Especially Thank You. Its "after the fact", so it doesn't gain you anything, right?

Yet, I say Thank You all the time.
Why?
Because I like to treat people how I would be liked to be treated.
Why are you criticizing Oregon_Coast_Guy for what almost no one else does? Manners??
- November 3rd, 2009, 11:22 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#33   Reply With Quote
lil_lamb lil_lamb is offline
lil_lamb's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 1,018

See profile

i once went to a comedy show where this comedian translated the phrase "good for you" for us all - it means "F-you." everyone was rolling on the floor, for there's nothing so funny as the truth.

"good luck on your search" means the same thing.
- November 3rd, 2009, 11:29 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#34   Reply With Quote
ScottK ScottK is offline
ScottK's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Nov 2007

Posts: 1,185

See profile

pussinboots wrote :
Why are you criticizing Oregon_Coast_Guy for what almost no one else does? Manners??
Because it just seems like both you and him actually seem to be INSULTED by the sending or receiving of that Good Luck message.

I think its just a bizarre reaction to something that I have to believe nearly all of the people on EH would consider a harmless and nice message to send/receive.

Is it strange that the message triggers a "Reopen" option?
Sure. Presumably its a bug in the system that they just haven't felt like fixing.

Its bad enough that we are all being judged by a couple Photos and a 1 page Profile. Anything that can be done to help make the process a little more nice and more friendly, I am happy to have.
- November 3rd, 2009, 11:57 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#35   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

nancymargritangelita nancymargritangelita is offline
nancymargritangelita's Avatar

nancymargritangelita getting ready for Christmas

Quick Study

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 221

See profile

melman wrote :
I am confused. I never thought of this one as a request to re-open. I usually send it when someone who is obviously incompatible closes me, as way to say "yes, I agree." Or when someone closes with "based on statements in the profile, I'm not interested" as a way to say "oh yeah? same to you, hon." Just a way to confirm that the match is really closed out.
Grrrrrrrrrrrr - my computer wants to go on the blink every time I reply to someone It's just been shown the trash bin AGAIN.

I've never thought of this as a request to reopen either.

That being said, I don't like this or any of the other reasons to close. If a person closes because they're pursuing another match, why would you want to wish them good luck with their "search" - they're obviously not searching anymore if they're pursuing another match.

If they close me, I just automatically close them without any response.
- November 3rd, 2009, 12:22 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#36   Reply With Quote
nancymargritangelita nancymargritangelita is offline
nancymargritangelita's Avatar

nancymargritangelita getting ready for Christmas

Quick Study

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 221

See profile

CA_Gal_2009 wrote :
I don't think Melman misunderstood what you wrote, I think you're just refusing to see that maybe, just maybe, YOU are misinterpreting what the final message means.
I don't think he mistunderstood either for what it's worth.
- November 3rd, 2009, 12:27 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#37   Reply With Quote
pussinboots pussinboots is offline
pussinboots's Avatar

pussinboots is sitting next to the bearded randy geezer to discuss head transplants

Pacesetter

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 384

See profile

ScottK wrote :
Because it just seems like both you and him actually seem to be INSULTED by the sending or receiving of that Good Luck message.

I think its just a bizarre reaction to something that I have to believe nearly all of the people on EH would consider a harmless and nice message to send/receive.

Is it strange that the message triggers a "Reopen" option?
Sure. Presumably its a bug in the system that they just haven't felt like fixing.

Its bad enough that we are all being judged by a couple Photos and a 1 page Profile. Anything that can be done to help make the process a little more nice and more friendly, I am happy to have.
Bizarre? If you want to attack my posts, please do it for understanding what I'm actually writing. If you go back to where I started this thread, I never mentioned anything close to about being insulted, but rather I've been confused about whether a match wants - as has happened - to be re-opened or not.
- November 3rd, 2009, 12:28 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#38   Reply With Quote
nancymargritangelita nancymargritangelita is offline
nancymargritangelita's Avatar

nancymargritangelita getting ready for Christmas

Quick Study

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 221

See profile

pussinboots wrote :
Bizarre? If you want to attack my posts, please do it for understanding what I'm actually writing. If you go back to where I started this thread, I never mentioned anything close to about being insulted, but rather I've been confused about whether a match wants - as has happened - to be re-opened or not.
I've read through all four pages of posts pussinboots and I can't find any that are attacking you. You asked a question and we're all giving you our responses. Don't be so sensitive about this issue. It's really no big deal.
- November 3rd, 2009, 12:33 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#39   Reply With Quote
pussinboots pussinboots is offline
pussinboots's Avatar

pussinboots is sitting next to the bearded randy geezer to discuss head transplants

Pacesetter

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 384

See profile

nancymargritangelita wrote :
I've read through all four pages of posts pussinboots and I can't find any that are attacking you. You asked a question and we're all giving you our responses. Don't be so sensitive about this issue. It's really no big deal.
Read them again, please. I never said I was being attacked - my posts were [for not understanding what I wrote].

You also must have missed the words "grouch", "ridiculous" and "bizarre".
- November 3rd, 2009, 12:53 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#40   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 4 of 5 « First 2 3 4 5

Bookmarks

« Find Profile | Array | duh, I'm new. - who initiates? »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

LinkBacks (?)
LinkBack to this Thread: http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/dating-advice/using-eharmony/31844-im-asking-again-please-dont-do-unless.html
Posted By For Type Date
Dating advice message board This thread Refback November 4th, 2009 05:42 pm
Dating advice message board This thread Refback November 3rd, 2009 04:35 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ I've actually advised a couple friends to do just that in the past. Not only does it have the benefit of bolstering your ability to protect yourself, but it also gives you something to talk to a ... ” – MikeIsPerpetuallySingle

Join the “Safety precautions and dating” discussion

“I dont think it matters who initiates. What do you define as initiaiate. I prefer when it just happens without the feeling that is was forced like I need to kiss her. I dont look for it on the ... ” – ami1uwant

Join the “kissing” discussion

“Quite serious - as in already knowing it is leading to marriage?” – LizziePooh

Join the “Dating and insecurity” discussion

“Perhaps you had expectations about her and the relationship that she felt she could not live up to, so she believed it was in both your best interests to end it. If it is meant to be, it will be. Not ... ” – scandalous

Join the “Lost and hurt” discussion

“What was the question she was answering?” – Sassafras54

Join the “Am I missing something here?” discussion

“Interesting article, especially number 6 - very true. Sometimes you'll notice someone unattractive yet they have a wit on communication - making them attractive.” – followmesky

Join the “Seven Habits of Highly Effective Singles” discussion

“My post seems to have vaporized! and I've kind of forgotten it, but I think I meant more a visual thing than a chat room ... people make a little snippet that has words on it (I guess a JPG) and ... ” – Sassafras54

Join the “Advicers: How about a Community Art Project?” discussion

“Just love her and be there for her. Say nothing about your brother-in-law, but listen to her when she feels like talking. If they decide to ride through this storm and stay married, all of the bad ... ” – scandalous

Join the “What can I do?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:29 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.3.0