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When it comes to dating, do you feel as if you call the shots in terms of the frequency and quality of people you are going out with, or do you feel as if it's more a matter of fate/destiny?

~~~

When I've been dating (which I'm not now) I tend to feel both ways at various times....I've orchestrated enough successes to feel powerful in that capacity but I've also had enough chance meetings or things that felt like "fate" to believe in that as well.

~~~

How about you?
- November 4th, 2009, 10:43 am
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For me it's something in between. There are both chance occurrences within life....and also the proactive steps I take.

P.S. Why do you look so grumpy? Having a bad day today....no nap?
- November 4th, 2009, 10:48 am
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I don't believe in fate/destiny! But I also don't feel totally in control ... since the other person has to participate too!
- November 4th, 2009, 10:49 am
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i have no idea what the Hdoublehockeysticks I'm doing. but noone else does either, so there's that.
- November 4th, 2009, 10:53 am
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When it comes to dating, do you feel as if you call the shots in terms of the frequency and quality of people you are going out with, or do you feel as if it's more a matter of fate/destiny?

How about you?
Tough to say. I have no control since you're in Pasadena

Really though- frequency and quality kinda almost go hand in hand. Most of my friends are married, there are a couple single ones that I'm not attracted to romantically, and I don't date just for the sake of dating. I'm not picky (I have actually put my criteria somewhere on this board), but a couple opportunities that presented itself to me, was way out of my list far enough to classify it as settling rather than compromising.

That and I have some fear of dating and women (or at least after reading some posts here ).
- November 4th, 2009, 11:07 am
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Specifically talking about eHarmony, it's definitely a matter of fate/destiny. You have to wait for matches to be sent to you and then sometimes none are sent. And then when you do get them, if they are someone you would like to get to know, they could be inactive or close you or not respond or poof or whatever.
- November 4th, 2009, 11:19 am
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hmmmm....well, I believe there is a purpose for everything that happens in life and every person I encounter so I guess that means I believe in fate/destiny.

HOWEVER (big however), I also believe that I am fully responsible for my reaction to every circumstance and encounter. So, I completely believe that I am empowered with choice too.

Guess that means I fall into the "both" category. Fate deals the cards, and I decide what and how to play and when to fold.
- November 4th, 2009, 12:05 pm
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jayjay wrote :
For me it's something in between. There are both chance occurrences within life....and also the proactive steps I take.

P.S. Why do you look so grumpy? Having a bad day today....no nap?
I was not ready to leave the park that day! In fact I kind of wish I was at the park RIGHT NOW lol....
- November 4th, 2009, 12:12 pm
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PY_2 wrote :
That and I have some fear of dating and women (or at least after reading some posts here ).
They ain't gonna harm you PY, they are gentle creatures
- November 4th, 2009, 12:16 pm
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Mokkesofie wrote :
They ain't gonna harm you PY, they are gentle creatures
Many of them are really scary!
- November 4th, 2009, 12:20 pm
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