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jayjay jayjay is online now
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scarlet13 wrote :
most of the 19 year old girls i've encountered are huge PITA's. why anyone would want to be in a relationship with them is beyond me.
Seriously....that is waaaay too young for me. Leastwise, for a relationship. I suppose you're implying that most older women aren't PITA's?
- November 4th, 2009, 11:27 am
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jayjay wrote :
Seriously....that is waaaay too young for me. Leastwise, for a relationship. I suppose you're implying that most older women aren't PITA's?
nope. I'm a PITA, for sure. but the benefits far outweigh that when you date me.
- November 4th, 2009, 11:32 am
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Different kinds of baggage...younger people (women) may not have relationship baggage, but if daddy always spoiled them then it's a different kind of baggage ('what you didn't bring me flowers when i throw a tantrum? but my daddy always did that for me). I have a friend, bringing his eight year old daughter a dozen roses because she finished her first piano recital. Cooking her a different meal because she complained she didn't like the veggie.

I avoid women with such upbringing at all cost.
- November 4th, 2009, 11:35 am
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jayjay wrote :
My honest impression of the people I know and have known is that they generally don't become more self aware as they get older. That might be because I know different people than you do....or because what we define as becoming more self aware is different.
I would say that it is true that many people never become self-aware. But of the ones that are self-aware, that awareness has grown over time. I've never met anyone who has become less self-aware with time (well, aside from dementia).

And it's entirely possible that we do know very different people. The people I choose as my friends tend to rate very high on self-awareness, simply because I have very little in common with people who lack that awareness.
- November 4th, 2009, 04:28 pm
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Iconography wrote :
Hm... I don't think that self-awareness--or, rather, its lack--necessarily has anything to do with baggage. What about people like me, who went through traumatic experiences which have interfered with our ability, for example, to relate "affectionately" to the opposite sex. That's clearly baggage (isn't it?) and can clearly afflict even the most self-aware.
Where awareness comes in is that it opens the door to dealing with that trauma so you can have satisfying relationships in the future.

For example, someone who has blocked out memories of a childhood trauma and does not have the awareness that they have an inability to relate to the opposite sex affectionately is unable to work through those issues. But having the awareness of the event and its effect on your life makes it possible to process it and heal from it so that it no longer colors your life.
- November 4th, 2009, 04:33 pm
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I have met lots of people who are completely "self-aware" of all their issues. It doesn't mean they do a darn thing about them though!
- November 4th, 2009, 04:52 pm
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Good point, peg099. I was thinking of the in-between "healing" time--when one is aware but in the process of dealing with the "baggage": one can be both aware of one's baggage (that is, be self-aware) and yet still have baggage.

The aware and unaware do not carry their baggage in the same ways, I suppose.
- November 4th, 2009, 04:53 pm
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(duplicate post)
Last edited by Iconography; November 4th, 2009 at 05:42 pm. Reason: duplicate post
- November 4th, 2009, 04:54 pm
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Hew wrote :
I have met lots of people who are completely "self-aware" of all their issues. It doesn't mean they do a darn thing about them though!
I think this is where what one is talking about in terms of 'self awareness' is the difference. If it's just a verbal knowledge....then I could see that most people continue to increase that throughout their lives. I think this is what you write above that means little with respect to their issues.

Like the way people can be very rigid in their minds....and know that they are so, but this doesn't make them less rigid. I think oftentimes this is what people even on this forum mean when they say they 'know themselves' and what they like and don't like. I could agree that this type of knowledge probably increases in a lot of people over their lifetimes.

However, this isn't what I think of as self awareness. For me this is the awareness that would, for example, actually dissolves that kind of rigidity. That's the kind of self awareness that I don't see very much of.
- November 4th, 2009, 05:15 pm
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Bagg + age = Baggage. See what you did there?


If we want a thread to stop all the whining about tall men it should be called

Shhh + height = ?


If we want a thread to stop all the inane weight blah, blah, blah

Fat + u a$$ = (spelling is awry on this one but it still works)


Jayjay, you have stumbled upon something here young man.
- November 4th, 2009, 05:16 pm
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