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PY_2 PY_2 is offline
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It's a slow Tuesday night and I'm hoping to be entertained

I read in a different thread that somebody won't settle with anybody and hope that the person won't 'settle' to be with her.

What's a definition of settling really? Besides the obvious.."I can't get nobody better, he's ok when he's not drunk and hitting me" (that itself is a totally different problem and topic).

Compromising? (OK he wears white after labor day, and he forgets to put the toilet seat down, but he's nice in many ways and he is taller than me even with my heels on- I can't come up with better examples).

Where's the line between holding out for Mr Perfect and compromising for Mr. Real?

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(leftover Halloween candy for those who are either the most amusing or the nicest )
- November 3rd, 2009, 05:43 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is online now
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It is reasonable to hold out for a partner who brings to the table the same things we do.

"Settling" is when we choose a partner who does not, for the sake not to be alone.
- November 3rd, 2009, 05:46 pm
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Can_I_just_be_Jo Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline
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Settling to me is taking up with one of those doormats. Those are those men that no matter how mean and evil I am they fall all over themselves to date me. Yeah I can get them to marry me, yeah they have tons of money but holy hell drinking would be my only pleasure in life.

Settling is accepting being less than happy.
- November 3rd, 2009, 05:50 pm
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D_Lion wrote :
It is reasonable to hold out for a partner who brings to the table the same things we do.

"Settling" is when we choose a partner who does not, for the sake not to be alone.
How about those who don't bring the same to the table, but still expects a lot from the other partner?

p.s. good post by the way on the first definition of settling. You want Butterfinger or Kitkat? (are Frogs allergic to chocolates?)
- November 3rd, 2009, 05:50 pm
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PY_2 wrote :
How about those who don't bring the same to the table, but still expects a lot from the other partner?

Dump them gold-diggers and do not give them your chocolates.
- November 3rd, 2009, 05:51 pm
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Settling for me would be getting involved in a relationship that is to a degree enjoyable at the moment....but which I know I wouldn't be satisfied with in the long term. I need to have the feeling that I could really be 100% happy being with this person for the rest of my life. That's really my only criteria. All the rest is just details of what may or may not make me feel this way.
- November 3rd, 2009, 06:00 pm
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Can_I_just_be_Jo wrote :

Settling is accepting being less than happy.
ok. but what makes you happy?

Reason why I ask is because men see the women's list (such as the ones in the good guy thread). Is that a 'minimum' requirement to keep them happy? or if you hit 80% you're happy? Some might fall 'out of love' when suddenly the guy drops to 75%?
- November 3rd, 2009, 06:12 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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PY_2 wrote :
ok. but what makes you happy?

Reason why I ask is because men see the women's list (such as the ones in the good guy thread). Is that a 'minimum' requirement to keep them happy? or if you hit 80% you're happy? Some might fall 'out of love' when suddenly the guy drops to 75%?
....or what I also think is somewhat common - that she develops different requirements for being happy.
- November 3rd, 2009, 06:24 pm
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Jo and DL said it so succintly, settling is accepting being less than happy for the sake of not being alone. Comprimising for me is being in a relationship with a person who is not as perfect as me.
- November 3rd, 2009, 06:30 pm
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Settling is being with someone you don't really want to be with. It doesn't have to mean that there is anything really wrong with them, it's just that for whatever reason, they don't do it for you, and you know it. Maybe when you've been away from each other for a week, you're ambivalent at best about a reunion. Or maybe you find yourself wondering what your life would be like with Harry or Sam or some random guy you see once on your way to work.

Compromising is what you do for someone that you want to be with, because you would rather not have your way than not have them. And honestly, when it comes to the little stuff like what he wears or does with a toilet seat, you don't even notice, or you do notice, but it makes you smile. And it's not because he's perfect or even real, it's just because you connect with him on your own special little completely undefinable level.
- November 3rd, 2009, 06:38 pm
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