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nightling nightling is offline
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nightling is drinking coffee, reading science articles, and enjoying the sunshine.

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I usually know within a meeting or two if there is any chemistry there. The "lust" at first sight thing.

I have found that people get more or less attractive to me as I get to know them better, based on their personality. That attraction seems to be seperate from "chemistry."

At least for me.
- November 1st, 2009, 05:39 pm
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trixie1868 trixie1868 is offline
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trixie1868 had one of those days which make you trust everyone that little bit less

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I agree with Lizzie, Melman and Nightling.

If I try to use eH in a way that most closely corresponds with meeting people in real life it's going to be better for me. So we meet, we decide if there's any connection in our personalitites, we ponder a little while to consider whether getting naked is something we'd want to do. If it is we proceed. If it isn't we shake hands and move on nicely.

I believe that Lust (or love but since eH is a relationship site you can shoot me for my aspirations ) at first sight is pretty rare.

The odds on meeting someone that you immediately want to ravish and find that you also like them a lot as a person too (which bundled up is love) are not good.

I'd be prepared to meet a few times to see if it takes. Is all.
- November 2nd, 2009, 07:11 am
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j0hn8andy j0hn8andy is online now
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j0hn8andy .....Take off the Rings.....That's the Goal.....

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I had Love at First Sight once in my life, with my second husband whom I met when I was 42. I just knew we were destined to be together.

I know people don't believe in it, if it hasn't happened for them. I think of it like Faith. You either believe or you don't. Doesn't make it any less real.....

I wouldn't hold out for Love at First Sight. I would hold out for Being in Love.

For me, Loving is not enough. I need to Be in Love.

j8a
- November 2nd, 2009, 07:41 am
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is online now
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Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

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Words from a noted marriage and relationship (psychologist) therapist on "love at first sight": "BULLCRUMBLE!"
- November 2nd, 2009, 07:52 am
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is online now
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Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

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littlebluemonkeymind wrote :
I think there's no such thing as love at first sight. There's lust at first sight. There's attraction at first sight. There's chemistry at first sight.

Love, for me at least, involves knowledge and you cannot know someone instantaneously. It involves respect and you cannot know that someone is worthy of respect or willing/able to respect you at first sight. It involves responsibility, which is an attribute that can only be ascertained over time.

Anyone who's middle-aged and holding out for love at first sight is not only suffering from arrested development, they are clearly demonstrating beliefs and values so different from mine that I suspect it would make us instantly incompatible.
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- November 2nd, 2009, 07:55 am
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j0hn8andy j0hn8andy is online now
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j0hn8andy .....Take off the Rings.....That's the Goal.....

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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Words from a noted marriage and relationship (psychologist) therapist on "love at first sight": "BULLCRUMBLE!"
I confess I haven't read the number of books about Love and Relationships that some people place so much stock in. In fact, I haven't read any!

I'm even forced to confess to knowing what little I do know about Love from experiencing it first hand, up close and personal.

I will say, and I'm sure there are many that will agree, books or not.....There's nothing that feels better in this world, than when you're Walking on Air, with your Head in the Clouds, and your Heart is Singing.

j8a
Last edited by j0hn8andy; November 2nd, 2009 at 11:03 am.
- November 2nd, 2009, 10:48 am
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