Interesting topic.

Each of us needs and wants different things, unconsciously, subconsciously, and consciously. It comes down to honoring our own and another's life experiences, knowing who we are, and communicating our inner most selves. It took much unearthing for me to discover that what I wanted was a protector, even as I can't say I 'need' one now, yet my inner sensing is I want one.

I was brutally beaten for days at a time...over a decade...for wanting...and for being...by my mother; for normal life things, such as wanting to go to prom, or college, whatever it was, and each time, as soon as my father made eye contact w/ me, he walked away...and left me. In order to survive, I 'had' to deny my authentic self and my real needs and feelings...and as much as I wanted him, this so-called 'masculine protector' to step up to the plate, intervene, and prevent her from beating me, he did not and I did not receive what I most needed.

So for me, 'wanting and desiring' a protector will I think 'always' be w/ me, on a cellular level. It takes being and living in relationship and many experiences to change our experiencing of.
So, for example, whenever as a kid and teenager and young adult, whenever I felt excited about something, some life event such as going to prom, I was severely punished, beaten, and restricted, limited and denied. So, later, I came to feel wrong and afraid to feel excited...b/c that was my many years experience...of. So now, w/ men, and particularly in an intimate relationship, I reveal how I feel excited about whatever it is, and if is he willing and receptive, he mirrors back to me my excitement, and in each new experience I am given an opportunity to feel safe, to reframe, and enjoy feeling excited. Something that simple can be deeply complex.