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raerae00016 raerae00016 is offline
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I recently separated from my fiance of 2 years. We have 3 kids (mine, his, and ours). I have found several indications of lies throughout our relationship and recently proof, hence the separation. He seems to lie about alot of things but most of them stupid (like going to the movies with the guys when supposedly at work). Since we separated, he supposedly realized how much he loved me and missed me and begged for forgiveness. Then I found out that he joined dating websites (through a credit card statement) and confronted him after seeing his profile. He looked me straight in the eye and lied/denied it. Am I a complete idiot to think that he loves me enought to change?
- November 18th, 2009, 05:41 pm
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kevin76 kevin76 is offline
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1. Why do you think he loves you? Just because he said so?

2. Why do you think his behavior has anything to do with loving you?

You know how he is. He has proven it to you with actions. What more do you want?
- November 19th, 2009, 11:13 am
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Sassafras54 Sassafras54 is offline
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The problem with a liar is you never know what they really think. Can you live with that?

It's never a good idea to expect someone to make any major changes for you. It's wiser to take them as they are, and decide whether that's what you want.
- November 19th, 2009, 02:12 pm
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BikerBeagle BikerBeagle is offline
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raerae00016 wrote :
Am I a complete idiot to think that he loves me enought to change?
Yes.
- November 20th, 2009, 03:51 pm
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beautifulgenius beautifulgenius is offline
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beautifulgenius I know where I want to be....it's just getting there that's got me puzzzled

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A tiger can't change his stripes. And you ex hasn't the power to know any better. He doesn't know what he wants or where he is. If you do end up going back to him, be careful, keep both eyes open.
- November 20th, 2009, 04:06 pm
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littlebluemonkeymind littlebluemonkeymind is offline
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littlebluemonkeymind The word of the day is: FOCUS

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Pay attention to what he does...not what he says. This is true whether someone is a liar or not, but particularly true when dealing with a liar.

And honestly, why would you want someone in your life who is a chronic liar?
- November 20th, 2009, 05:06 pm
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indigirl1975 indigirl1975 is offline
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littlebluemonkeymind wrote :
Pay attention to what he does...not what he says. This is true whether someone is a liar or not, but particularly true when dealing with a liar.

And honestly, why would you want someone in your life who is a chronic liar?
Yes...what he does not says. Liars are tricky and most people do not change. You can give it another go but in the end I think you will be exactly where you are right now...alone (except older), mad at yourself for going back to him, and you will probably have a brand new set of hurts and pains.

I think you should give yourself a huge gift and so yes to you, no to him...besides liars and a holes are always available so if you did change your mind in a few years (after him showing you) he will still be there. No one else will put up with him either.
- November 21st, 2009, 08:13 am
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