Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

About You Your healthy mind, body, and spirit play a vital role in all the important relationships of your life. Share your advice and insights here.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
pukeko's Avatar

pukeko has a long report due Thursday and still not even .5 there. **headache**

Enthusiast

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 725

See profile

i grew up in single mom household, no dada. sometimes i see most of my friends who were raised by both parents do really well in terms of relationship with the people of the opposite sex. whereas i, i am another story. some time i feel like if i had a father raising me, i think my relationship with the opposite will probably be different.

who feels this way? do you think your parents relationship impact your view about the opposite sex?
- July 31st, 2009, 06:44 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
bigfincat's Avatar

Virtuoso

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 2,788

See profile

No

(who knew that a one word answer was not allowed?)
- July 31st, 2009, 06:54 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
j0hn8andy's Avatar

j0hn8andy .....Take off the Rings.....That's the Goal.....

Enthusiast

Join Date: Jun 2009

Posts: 927

See profile

So far as I know, my parents never even went behind closed doors and whispered hateful things to each other! Never saw them have an argument.

My sisters and I grew up, married, had the first argument with the husband, thought it meant divorce. We all said the same thing.

We had absolutely no experience with people able to kiss and make up! It was a hard lesson to learn...
- July 31st, 2009, 06:56 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
happyquestion's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 154

See profile

hugely...

Much of the ways we respond to our emotions and respond to our partner's emotions in a relationship are conditioned from various factors including that of our upbringing.

Child grow up in a family where parents share a good relationship has that natural environment for them learn about how to love and foster a good relationship whereas a child who grow up with observations of dysfunctional relationship has much of the darker side of a relationship exposed to him/her and this in turn conditions certain believes and values towards love/relationship and could induce certain emotional coping mechanism that's unhealthy to a loving relationship...
- July 31st, 2009, 07:02 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
happyquestion's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 154

See profile

j0hn8andy wrote :
So far as I know, my parents never even went behind closed doors and whispered hateful things to each other! Never saw them have an argument.

My sisters and I grew up, married, had the first argument with the husband, thought it meant divorce. We all said the same thing.

We had absolutely no experience with people able to kiss and make up! It was a hard lesson to learn...
thanks for your input, that's another perspective.

We learn from what we see... that include everything relationship, from parents or from others.
- July 31st, 2009, 07:06 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

Power Poster

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 9,298

See profile

This is an interesting question and some interesting responses.

You are certainly a product of your environment. Unless you were raised in a convent it would seem that you should have been exposed to male role models through relatives or friends and neighbors or teachers.

Now if your mom harbored hatred towards men then this is something that has been imprinted on you and you will have to work at changing your views of men.
- August 1st, 2009, 08:55 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

Power Poster

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 9,298

See profile

j0hn8andy wrote :
So far as I know, my parents never even went behind closed doors and whispered hateful things to each other! Never saw them have an argument.

My sisters and I grew up, married, had the first argument with the husband, thought it meant divorce. We all said the same thing.

We had absolutely no experience with people able to kiss and make up! It was a hard lesson to learn...
Understand where you are coming from. I can't ever recall my parents having an argument. I also don't consider their actions to each other to have been "romantic" so that part of my psyche is a bit underdeveloped also.
- August 1st, 2009, 08:58 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
j0hn8andy's Avatar

j0hn8andy .....Take off the Rings.....That's the Goal.....

Enthusiast

Join Date: Jun 2009

Posts: 927

See profile

[quote=Gr8Guyn2008;694776]
Understand where you are coming from. I can't ever recall my parents having an argument. I also don't consider their actions to each other to have been "romantic" so that part of my psyche is a bit underdeveloped also.




Didn't understand at the time, but I do remember them being in the bedroom, closed and locked door, giggling and laughing. I think they were having a good time in there.

And every Saturday, they'd send us to the movies. Way back then, they were double features with news clips and cartoons in between! So, hours and hours...
- August 1st, 2009, 01:56 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
brneyedangel's Avatar

brneyedangel is sick :(

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 1,686

See profile

pukeko wrote :
i grew up in single mom household, no dada. sometimes i see most of my friends who were raised by both parents do really well in terms of relationship with the people of the opposite sex. whereas i, i am another story. some time i feel like if i had a father raising me, i think my relationship with the opposite will probably be different.

who feels this way? do you think your parents relationship impact your view about the opposite sex?
Yes, in a sense.

My parents were divorced when I was ten. They fought often when I was a child, and they fought through me when they were divorced, until I finally decided I wasn't doing it any longer and that they could call each other if they wanted to fight. I think I was eleven when I told my father, "No Daddy, you tell her."

I don't feel this has negatively affected my relationships. If anything, I think it's positively affected my relationships because I have every desire to have a healthy relationship that will stand the test of time. I want to make sure that when I do get married, it's for keeps, for divorce just is not an option for me, not just because of what I saw what it did to my parents, but because of my faith, and because I feel it's an easy out that too many people use in situations where it is not warranted--I have friends where it appears that marriage and divorce could be listed as a hobby or past time that they participate in. That said, there are instances where I would not remain in a marriage (abuse to me, children, my family would be an example).

My mother moved on to remarry, and this year will mark her 24th wedding anniversary to my step-father. My father is still bitter over my mother divorcing him, which makes me very sad for him, but it is his choice. My parents do not speak with one another unless it is absolutely necessary, which is also sad. The first time they spoke to each other after their divorce was when I was when I was rushed to the hospital in college with what turned out to be the mumps (long story, vaccine didn't work on me). I am fortunate that both of my parents love me (and my brother) very much and have been a very active part of my life. However, they have also taught me, only in their marriage to one another, what not to aspire to achieve.
- August 1st, 2009, 04:05 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
pukeko's Avatar

pukeko has a long report due Thursday and still not even .5 there. **headache**

Enthusiast

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 725

See profile

both points apply. i grew up without any relatives, too. yeah, believe or not. the war torn my family apart. but i am working to change some views. although i don't think i ever have any hatred of men, or of anything. i am just a bit more cautious with men.

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
This is an interesting question and some interesting responses.

You are certainly a product of your environment. Unless you were raised in a convent it would seem that you should have been exposed to male role models through relatives or friends and neighbors or teachers.

Now if your mom harbored hatred towards men then this is something that has been imprinted on you and you will have to work at changing your views of men.
- August 2nd, 2009, 07:57 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Dealing with the parents lindseyk Dating 20 June 24th, 2009 03:05 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Interesting about the group thing... I guess you are going to have to go through it then. I don't necessarily think the group thing would exclude you from having one-on-one moments. Just take ... ” – LizziePooh

Join the “Dating and insecurity” discussion

“Well if I want to be traditional, then the man should initiate the first kiss. If I do not care about tradition and want people to be free to do what they feel like doing, then either can ... ” – Sassafras54

Join the “kissing” discussion

“What was the question she was answering?” – Sassafras54

Join the “Am I missing something here?” discussion

“Interesting article, especially number 6 - very true. Sometimes you'll notice someone unattractive yet they have a wit on communication - making them attractive.” – followmesky

Join the “Seven Habits of Highly Effective Singles” discussion

“My post seems to have vaporized! and I've kind of forgotten it, but I think I meant more a visual thing than a chat room ... people make a little snippet that has words on it (I guess a JPG) and ... ” – Sassafras54

Join the “Advicers: How about a Community Art Project?” discussion

“Just love her and be there for her. Say nothing about your brother-in-law, but listen to her when she feels like talking. If they decide to ride through this storm and stay married, all of the bad ... ” – scandalous

Join the “What can I do?” discussion

“This trauma will damage brain cells, probably the ones containing memory of your birthday! I recommend associative learning; for instance, you delivery a passionate Kiss while saying "my birthday ... ” – scarlet13

Join the “How "date oriented" (anniversaries, birthdays, etc) are you?” discussion

“I'd hang it up in the closet and wear it again, unless the date went really poorly, in which case I would donate it to good will.I doubt I'd be anywhere near his bed on a first date. ” – nightling

Join the “Dolling up constantly” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:13 pm.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.3.0