When you Should Ask Him Out

You think your crush is interested but you're not 100% sure. If he's giving you these signals, you won't be turned down when you ask him out.

by eHarmony Staff

You’re an independent woman making her way in the dating world by putting yourself out there and into situations that may be foreign to you. Sometimes it can be scary, but you’re learning a lot and gaining confidence every day.

Wrong. The rule that a woman must wait around for a date proposition is long dead. In this modern age, most guys welcome the reprieve of a self-assured woman. Of course, finding the courage to ask for a date isn’t easy. You’re human and afraid of rejection. But look at it this way: You have nothing to lose but a good man.

Traditionalists may find this proactive suggestion uncouth, concerned that a woman will be sending a message that she is too aggressive. However, why would you want to pass up an opportunity for a great relationship? Instead of waiting around for something to happen, shake things up. Consider the following clues that indicate maybe it’s time for you to do the asking.

1) He’s Shy

The shy guys require a little luring out of their shells, as they tend to wait in the wings for discovery. If you are into a shy guy, take note that you will have to ask him out (unless you feel like waiting around while he musters his courage). So why not put your outgoing personality to good use? Mr. Bashful will be eternally grateful that you made the first move.

2) He’s Your Sidekick

Because you’re already friends, you hang out, go on errands, laugh together at funny commercials and share inside jokes. The problem is that he doesn’t know how to take it to the next level.

While he’s obviously enjoying your company, he probably just can’t get his nerve up to ask you out romantically. Instead, you do the asking and see how he handles your spunk. If he tries to clarify the details and what the date may insinuate, perhaps he is just buddy material. But if he energetically accepts with no questions asked, surely he is sighing with relief behind the broad grin.

3) His Body Language Speaks for Itself

With a smooth hand touch, a door courteously opened with his hand on your lower back, dramatic eye contact and a lingering hug, he is telling you that he likes you without saying a word. Does his face light up when he sees you? Is he thoughtful and chivalrous? His body language is perhaps saying the things he cannot articulate. In fairness, he may just be a gentleman, but these little clues can also indicate an affection for his leading lady – YOU! Why not take the wheel and put your romantic relationship in gear?

4) He Keeps the Momentum

With so many distractions with work and family, pets and personal time, it can be easy to lose interest or just lose touch with certain people. However, if he returns emails and calls when promised, then that’s a refreshing sign he is in it to win it. Consistency and reliability are a big deal and indicate definite interest.

5) He Remembers the Details

You once mentioned that you loved strawberry-flavored Jolly Rancher candy, that you eat Lucky Charms for dinner or that you have hunted rainbows since you were 12. He references your conversations later, confirming he has been listening and paying attention to you. He’s interested and wants to learn about what makes you happy. With all the information we take in on a daily basis, it can be tough to keep track of all the details from each acquaintance. But if this guy remembers the name of your childhood imaginary friend, he is invested in you!

So maybe he is not always going to say yes, but you can handle it. Rejection is fleeting, and it won’t make or break you if your fellow turns you down. It is actually good practice to step up and take the initiative, which can translate to different aspects of your life. Keep in mind that asking a man out on a date does not imply that you are an insolent tart. In fact, it sends a confident message that you know what you want and are able to ask for it.