What Men Really Want

Women complain that men only want one thing, but that's far from true. Check out what men are really looking for in a relationship.

by eHarmony Staff

While the old joke goes that what a man’s looking for in a woman is a pulse, in reality it’s far from true. Like women, men are on the search for very specific qualities and are likely to keep searching until they find them. Although what a man may want and desire of his partner may change during the years, here are some basics that should hold true over the generations.

1) Men Want Support

No one wants a sycophant, but a little support with his ideas and his problems can go a long way. If he’s taking it in the neck from his boss, let him know how you understand. If he’s certain that buying a ‘57 Chevy is ultimately going to be a sound investment, indulge him. The bottom line is, let him know you’re on his side, that you’re a team together against the world and all it can throw at you.

2) Men Want Admiration

A distant relative of Support, Admiration will make all his achievements seem a little more worthwhile. If he’s climbing the corporate ladder or scoring big with his softball team, let him know that your admiration runs deep and that you’re swelling with pride. Take an interest, understand the details, help him celebrate: the further he goes, the closer you’ll feel.

3) Men Want Humor

Not for nothing do the personals always list ‘GSOH’ (Good Sense of Humor) high on the list of qualities men are looking for in a woman. Poets have waxed lyrical about it (‘The most wasted of all days is one without laughter’ – ee cummings), entertainers have hailed it, (‘Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.’ - Victor Borge), and in difficult and good times alike, a couple that laughs together stays together.

4) Men Want Sociability

Just because two have become one it doesn’t mean that the one has to sequester itself from the world. Sure, a partner will become his main ‘hang’, his go-to girl, but he needs feedback from the rest of mankind, and you need to be able to rise to the occasion. He’ll want to show you off, admire you as you socialize with ease, know that he can throw you in any social situation – whether with friends, work colleagues or family - and you’ll at least try to go with it.

5) Men Want Freedom

He loves you, he wants to be with you, he needs you – but you’re not glued at the hip and he does have interests outside of the relationship. While a man knows his life with a partner will change forever, it doesn’t mean he has to give up everything he enjoyed about his pre-you life. Whether it’s a hobby or a passion, let him indulge himself… and look happy about it too. What makes him happy will ultimately make you happy.