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The average high school senior has listened to 12,000 hours of television, but has been in the classroom for only 8,000 hours. Those 12,000 hours of television, I'm sure you would agree with me, have probably been written more carefully, edited more excruciatingly, and presented in the most professional way to make sure they carry the points that the producers and writers and directors wanted carried. And those points that are carried through television very often have to do with the qualities Hollywood believes should be most attractive in the person you are selecting to be your longtime mate.
For instance, when you say, "Hi, I'm Doug," and she says, "Hi, I'm Linda," you probably could come up with fifteen factors that you're looking at. You know how tall she is. You know what her body proportions are. You know how she's dressed. You know what her facial features are. You know what her mouth looks like. You know whether she's attentive to you or not. You know the color of her eyes, and so on, for twelve to fifteen factors. Now you are going to make an assessment about an ultimate match between the two of you on the basis of these twelve to fifteen factors.
Unfortunately, most people are dead wrong in the prediction they make in the early phases of a relationship; dead wrong when it comes to determining whether a relationship will be a good one or not in the long term. I want to suggest to you that many times you make a negative evaluation about the long-term match between you and another person when indeed, if you got involved with this person, you would discover that you would have a great relationship with them.
The fact is that Hollywood has so encouraged us to place our emphasis on external things that when you don't find what you're looking for in the other person's facial features, or their height, or their body type, you simply go right on by. If indeed there are 1,500, it is possible that you are passing up a person with whom you could have 1,490 factors in common. You're predicting that everything is going to be negative because these superficial factors are negative.
That's why we say to you that Hollywood has engaged in a great hoax. If you take part in that hoax, you'll likely end up with a candidate pool so small that you will eventually give up the task of trying to find the right person. I want to help you develop a way of meeting people that will allow you to get beyond the first six or eight factors in order to get to know people at a deeper level, so that you will possibly meet that diamond in the rough with whom you can have a fabulous relationship down the line.
First of all, I would like for you to take ten empty 8.5x11 sheets of paper, and on the top of each of these sheets, I want you to write a word. These ten words come from my book Finding the Love of Your Life. On the top of the first sheet I want you to write the word "Personality." On the top of the second sheet, "Intelligence." On the top of the third sheet, "Appearance." On the top of the fourth sheet, "Ambition." On the top of the fifth sheet, "Chemistry." On the top of the sixth sheet, "Spirituality." On the top of the seventh sheet, "Character." On the top of the eighth sheet, "Creativity." The ninth sheet, "Parenting." The tenth sheet, "Authenticity."
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