I need advice:
Met a guy in February (non-eHarmony member) online; I was originally out of town when the first contact was made. After a trip back home, we both decided after a face-to-face meeting that we would continue to communicate when I came back in March. He was a perfect gentleman and treated me kindly (as he should have). Recently (within the last 30 days) he told me that he 'loved me/was in love with me' and in the same breath stated "wanted to make love" to me. I told him that I understood, but we needed to talk about it later.
Within 1 1/2 weeks of his 'announcement', my birthday came up. He stated that he wanted to spend the entire weekend doing things with me. Friday came - he was unable to do anything with me because he 'worked late'. Saturday came (birthday) - we were supposed to go and eat around 9 am that morn (per his words Friday night). I got up, got prepared and dressed (I was ready by 8:30 am). His normally early behavior/arrival did not happen - I called around 8:45 am to let him know that I was ready and after 9 am to find out if every was still on track (no answer). I left a message on the last call and requested that if he had changed his mind to let me know (I could go out with my cousin instead). Still no answer...He sent me two e-mails an hour after I left (10:15 am) saying he was on the phone and that he couldn't get off (first) as well as accusing me of not trusting him/insuinating that I "upset" him because I called (second). He has personal access to three phones (only one is business-related). This came out of the blue - he never has had a problem with me calling him in the past (he has done most of the calling since I came back to town).
Invited him to dinner the following Tuesday (voice mail/e-mail); I received via e-mail a 'no-thanks', another accusation of 'non-trust', and that he couldn't "handle" being around me because of his sexual attraction. I now truly believe that this person did not 'love me' and was just trying to get me into bed. He has, on several occasions, stopped communication with me for no apparent reason/out of the blue; he generally made most of the phone calls and contacted me multiple times each day (no problem - I enjoyed speaking with him). It wasn't unusual for him to contact me up to four or five times a day.
Here's the kicker: we both are believers (i.e., Christians). Our faith entails that sex is reserved for marriage, although some don't practice or abide by it (a lot of us do). Considering all of the STD's and chances you have to take these days, I feel that it is warranted to be careful/abstain.
Not only do I believe that he just wanted sex from me because of his statements, I also believe that he had someone on the 'side' and was just stringing me along. What do you think?
Widowed almost two years ago .. not looking for love but miss good companionship, others in this boat?
This is not very encouraging if I dont even get one match. Did I just throw my money away?
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