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The Relationship Killers: 8 Things you Should Never Say

We are all going to fight in our relationships, but whether we fight fair is another story. Avoid these eight phrases and you'll be one step closer to a happier, healthier relationship.

Are the following eight phrases part of your vocabulary when dealing with the love of your life? Remove these fighting words from your love lingo and you’ll reap the rewards. Don’t, and your relationship just might meet the grim reaper!

“Then I guess we shouldn’t be dating!”

You wouldn’t tell your boss you’re quitting your job unless you meant it, would you? But sometimes, in a relationship, people are tempted to pull out the nuclear option just to get the other person off their backs: “If you don’t like the way I season veal, then you’ll never understand me! We should just break up!”

Save breakup talk for when you truly want to end a relationship, not as a rhetorical weapon. Otherwise, you risk your match taking you up on the offer and leaving you crying over steak for one.

“Why can’t you be more/less like my ex?”

We all have exes that have taught us what we do and don’t like in relationships. But the person you’re with now wants to feel special, not like the sequel to a bad romantic comedy. Don’t make it sound as though you’re still hung up on the past. Tell your current love specifically how you feel and what you want, but in the context of the present.

“I’m just too tired from working all day to help you with that.”

Of course, you’re not lying – you probably did get exhausted from rushing around and dealing with your boss all day. But in the modern era, when most men and women have taxing jobs outside the home, this is the lamest excuse in the book. Remember, the man or woman you love is probably as exhausted as you, and even if they’re not, they shouldn’t have to pick up your dirty socks, move a couch by themselves, or take the kids to lacrosse practice just because you did a little work. If you’re really tired, ask to trade or defer chores. Or better yet, just do whatever it is eagerly and quickly, so you can have time to relax and enjoy each other’s company.

“Let’s go grave digging!”

Have you ever complained to your loved one that they forgot to do something, and instead of apologizing they brought up something slightly similar that you once did? Everyone makes mistakes, but small infractions done long ago are not hooks to hang your hat on when you want to avoid blame for something you’re doing in the present. “You forgot to feed the dog five years ago!” is no excuse for forgetting to feed the cat today, and bringing up past transgressions simply leads to an escalation of blame and hurt.

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