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There’s no shame in admitting it. Making peace with what you see in the mirror can be a genuine struggle. For some of us, it’s a life long process – one filled with big obstacles and small victories, real opportunities and hard lessons.
So what is a single person to do in a world increasingly obsessed with image and perfection? How do you keep your self-esteem intact when rejection is the only given in the dating game? What do you do when you’ve read the expert-penned bestsellers and watched the day time talk shows but still feel a little less than when you wake up with a blemish or new gray hair? Is it even possible to be single and feel truly confident and comfortable with that person in the mirror?
Though there is no silver bullet answer to these questions for every person every single day day, take heart. Consider two simple but powerful tips to help keep your perspective healthy and by extension, your self-image strong. You might be surprised at how effective mind over matter can be.
Accentuate the positive.
When you look in the mirror do you tend to focus on what’s bad/imperfect/you’d like to change? Every one of us can plead guilty to this. Next time, try to catch yourself doing this and begin shifting your self talk. We’re not telling you to try to completely silence that critical inner voice. That would be nearly impossible.
But try this: for every less than ideal trait you notice, make the point to lovingly appreciate one great trait you possess. Truly commit to doing this every day, day in and day out. It may sound and feel strange to compliment yourself every day. Many of us are taught to criticize instead of praise ourselves. We fear being seen as too arrogant or boastful or self-centered. But put those thoughts aside. Stop looking outside yourself for validation. Instead try handing it to yourself, consistently and without apology.
Also make every effort to stop comparing yourself to others. That's setting yourself up to fall short. You will never be anyone but you. By respecting your individual strengths every single day, you'll defuse the power of your weaknesses to control your thoughts and behaviors. And you will begin to embrace a more integrated, complete picture of yourself.
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I try to focus on my personality being the thing that will attract someone but we all know that looks matter.
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