Profile Makeover: Miss January

Feeling frustrated by the lack of response from your matches? Maybe your profile could use a makeover. Every month, our experts will help one lucky (and anonymous) eHarmony member make a better first impression. Meet "Miss January."

"Why am I not getting more dates?"
"Am I doing something wrong?"
"Should I make the first move?"

Every day, readers write in with heartfelt questions like these. And we are listening. That’s why we're launching the eHarmony Profile Makeover as a monthly series.

Every month, real eHarmony members will be sharing their About Me and our team of experts will weigh in.  They will provide tangible suggestions for improvement and we hope these real-life examples will help you make a better first impression with potential matches - on and off line.

All the readers we'll be featuring represent the real spirit of this advice community - they are dedicated to learning, sharing and supporting each other. We applaud their openness and wish them the best in their search for love.

Meet Miss eHarmony Profile Makeover January 2008  

1. The fact that you are "passionate about finding more balance" sounds important and you allude to it later so expand on this point a bit. Why is this an issue for you? How are you working on it? Remember, you want to use your About Me to distinguish yourself from other women. With every question, try to give a real flavor for your life, your goals and your interests. Share interesting information that is important for a potential mate to know and appreciate about you. Be as open and real as possible.

You mention "sharing adventures." Adventure can mean very different things to different people. So clarify a bit.  Give some tangible examples of what kinds of adventures you are up for with the right person. Are you interested in rafting down the Amazon together? Or are you more the type who sees exploring the newest restaurant in your area is an adventure?

Certain hobbies can come across as a bit quirky. “Doing magic” could fall into that category for some potential matches. So unless, it’s a defining part of your life, perhaps bring this interest up later on in the getting-to-know-you process. Instead, you could expand on why you are learning Spanish. Is it to help you on those far-flung adventures or is it to help you snag a promotion? Again details and a real flavor for your life is what you want to give your matches.

2.  Great, strong descriptive adjectives!  

3. This gives matches a terrific feel for you as an intellectually curious and resourceful person. Good job! 

4. This section needs real TLC. Let's start at the beginning. You state that your match’s gender is the most important quality you are looking for in your search for love.  That's a clear “don’t.”  Yes, we know you probably intended it as a joke but humor can get lost in translation when you don't know someone and can't hear their delivery. So while some will get this is a joke, it could also be interpreted as flippant or worse desperate i.e. you’ll take a man, any man. This does you a real disservice because clearly this isn’t true.

Instead focus on fleshing out the second and third points. What exactly will the right match value in you? Your openness to new experiences? Your sensitivity and supportiveness?

Your third line insinuates that you want to take things slowly.  Really get to know each other before diving into a relationship. If that’s the case, then just say that. Say you are in no rush to get married. Lead with the positive "spin" instead of the behavior you don't want.

One last note, on the princess line: every woman understands your sentiment but men might read into it differently. So again, just clarify. “He will make me feel like I am cherished and supported and loved” or “He will open doors and treat me like a lady.” Otherwise, it could be open to an interpretation that may be far from the truth.