Little Physical Attraction = Deal Breaker?

You're matched with a nice person, but you're not physically attracted to them. Are you shallow? Is this a deal breaker?

As human beings, we are made to feel physical attraction. It is one of our most powerful mate selection criteria. Much of eHarmony’s philosophy regarding relationships has to do with placing physical attraction lower on our list of selection criteria, because when looking at “long-term” relationship success, physical attraction doesn’t rank very high.

In addition, it’s a sad fact that today in society people often use physical attraction as their “only” gauge of whether to pursue a relationship. This notion is reinforced constantly by our media and leads to large numbers of shallow, dysfunctional and ultimately failed relationships. Having said all that, we do believe that physical attraction is germane to a healthy, successful relationship and discourage relationships between two people who get along great, appear to be compatible and yet have no “spark.” Building a great relationship without the excitement and attraction that comes from passionate love is impossible.

Remember, a “great person” is not a “great person for you” unless they meet your needs and desires in a partner. You needn’t feel guilty about your lack of physical chemistry with a person. In fact, you’re acting compassionately by letting them know you’re not attracted, (gently, no need to be blunt here) so they can find someone who does find him or her physically appealing.