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Learning to Love Yourself

Before you can share your love with someone else, you have to first love yourself. But what does that mean and how do you get there? Try these exercises and see how how easy it is to be your own best friend.

There’s an old adage that says in order to love someone else, you first have to love yourself. This is an important truth, but what does loving yourself really mean? Well, remember that the word “love” is a verb. So just as your actions show your love for someone else, it’s important to actively do things to love yourself.

Make a List of Things you Like About Yourself

Sometimes we focus so much on what we’d like to change about ourselves that we actually forget there’s a lot to like as well. So take a few minutes and remind yourself of the positives you can be proud of. Think of physical attributes, mental or emotional strengths, successes you’ve experienced, the way you support your friends, or anything else. Make your list as long as possible, and then keep adding to it.

Ask Others to add to your List

Go to the people you trust—a friend, a romantic partner, a therapist, a family member—and ask them what they’d list as your most positive characteristics. You may be surprised to find out that people see a lot more of your strengths than you realize.

Treat yourself like a Best Friend

You know how you treat someone you really care about? The way you love and support that person and treat him or her with kindness and respect? Do that for yourself. And just as you’d challenge a close friend who’s making bad decisions with his or her life, challenge yourself as well. Just as you would for a good friend, remind yourself over and over again of your immense worth as an individual and that you deserve great things in your life. Challenge yourself to achieve the best life possible.

Pay Attention to your Needs and Desires

This may sound a bit silly, but some people really don’t know what they want and need. They can go through their entire adult lives living only for others without stopping to ask the question “What do I want here?” or “What’s best for me?” One of the best ways to love yourself is simply to pay attention to what it is that you want and need—in your job, in your relationships, in your friendships, and in your whole life.

Protect Yourself

When you love yourself, you’re much less willing to let someone take advantage of you or to have toxic people in your life. Refuse to be the kind of person who so desperately wants to be loved that they’ll put up with anything in a relationship. You’re worth more than that. Protect yourself from people who don’t have your best interest at heart, and choose not to allow yourself to be treated in unloving, disrespectful ways.

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