People with excellent communication skills are more likely to succeed in life and in love. Learn why effective communicators have an advantage and what you can do to get it.
The matching of two complete strangers on eHarmony is an exercise in pure communication. It starts with words on a page (or in our case a computer screen), and can quickly move to the telephone or quiet restaurant. But wherever it takes place the majority of a couple’s first weeks together are spent in focused and vitally important communication.
Most people think their communication skills are just fine. It’s easy to progress through life as a relatively happy and productive person with poor communication skills. It’s the type of problem that erodes at your quality of life in subtle, indirect ways. If your appendix becomes infected and starts to swell, you will know in short order. Before long you’ll be in the hospital taking care of a problem that has demanded your attention. Unfortunately for many, poor listening and poor communication skills never grab their attention in the same way. They unknowingly endure the consequences of an ailment they never even recognize. Once you make a commitment to work on your communication skills the results are immediate.
Every relationship you have will improve. It doesn’t matter what relationship it is. It may be a relationship with your boss, a relationship with your closest friend, relationships with the other people on your softball team, or maybe a relationship with the eventual love of your life. Every relationship will get better, and then your own enjoyment of life is going to go up.
I have to tell you that any person who is a great communicator enjoys life more. You have the sense of getting more of the really important innermost stuff from inside of you across to other people. You have the sense of their not only receiving it, but understanding it and liking it, and more than that you have the sense of getting clear about your own inside world for yourself. Your efforts at becoming a better communicator will straighten out the wrinkles of your life. Most wrinkles in life have to do with poor communication. When you aren’t very good at communicating with other people, then all kind of difficulties start occurring. Four things are needed to be a great communicator:
justme183:Hi, speak about your hobby or ask about thier hobby or talk about a movie you have both viewed. try to stay away from topics such as politics, religion or any contriversial subject matters. be a good listener and also speak your turn with comments but not critisism. Be attentive to what they have to say and if you don't agree with something, just say nothing back or just say, This is what I have read or heard about the subject matter. Even if you are 100% correct. This gives you time to listen what the person thoughts are about the subject matter. You may also learn something from what they have to say or give you an alternative idea. The worst thing you can do is ignore what the person is saying, if you do then it means to them that you are not listening to them. Make sure you are listening and don't be a know it all or a smart ass. Intelligent people are diplomatic, good listeners and non-critical and are good with choice of words. They are also calm and respectful. Most people like to listen to a good conversationalist but not one who blabs on and on and doesn't let the other person speak. Good communication is interactive otherwise it is a lesson, then you are better off in a class room. Meshing of personality is important, some peoples personality doesn't match with others. Find a person that you feel comfortable with and helps if they are a good listener and not always think they are right all the time. Someone that is willing to learn something about a subject or open to ideas or likes to share what they know. Don't choose somone who just says things to annoy you and they know what the answer is or someone who is just picking on you cause you are shy or someone who is testing you to see what you know or someone who thinks you are out to get them by being nice to them. Good luck and hope this helps you find a date. from Haruo
I'm shy and haven't dated in many years! Effective and clear communication is so important but where do you start? I would truly like to be able to speak to someone of the oppisite sex and not be at a total loss for words.
I remember being exactly like you before I got married. I was shy, when I spoke to anyone especially guys I could never think of anything to say! It was awful and I always felt so dumb. Thankfully my future husband when I met him was not shy and he was the one who did the most talking at first until we got to know each other better. Now it's funny 25 years later I am not shy like I used to be. Although if I were to describe myself I would say I was shy. My friend lauph at me when I say that because they don't see me that way at all. They have a hard time believing I used to be painfully shy. So good news, for me it got better as I got older. Also, when I was in college I took a speech class. This really helped me alot. Having to be forced to get up in front of people to make a speech was for me really scary. But it did help me to overcome some of the shyness.
I agree with Max32 and Sarah... We can't have a healthy relationship, really, without true communication skills.... and, unfortunately, they're just not taught in school. So, if we want to be genuine, kind and truly loving, valuing our relationships above all else, it's so important to seek out and learn... You see, in fact, we cannot 'not' communicate. So, if it's not in healthy ways, thru words, it'll be in unhealthy ways through acting out, excesses, and other physically or relationally destructive behaviors. Either way, you'll be trying to get your message across!
“There is nothing more attractive than self-awareness, personal responsibility, and a sense of wonder about the world. Wrapped in a nice package would be nice, too, but then I'm a guy and we somehow think that's really important.”
“I'm a tiny, snarky nerd who tires to be not so nerdy by expanding her horizons. I'm not by any stretch of the imagination a girly-girl but I appreciate the finer qualities like cute shoes and sparkly lip-gloss. Currently I am looking to learn how to properly Salsa without looking like a complete rhythm-less clod. ”
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