Help! I Can't Stand the Rejection

Nobody said making your way through the dating world is easy. When you're hit with a string of bad dates, no-shows and never-calls, keeping your head above it all can be tricky. But never fear, eHarmony Advice is here to give you a boost.

Picture of a Woman looking frustrated in front of a computer screen eating takeout
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Does your love life feel like a broken record that keeps skipping the second date? Or maybe it doesn’t even get that far—you enjoy a nice email exchange and a couple phone calls but always wind up riding solo on the Lonesometown Express.

When battling rejection, how can you withstand the constant blows to your ego and still come out a champion? eHarmony Advice has a few ideas.

Keep some Perspective

Remember, in this world where people must constantly fight against disease, wildfires, and droughts, your dating issues are not the biggest problem humanity has ever had to conquer. And haven’t you had some successes in your personal life that far outweigh any temporary setbacks you’re feeling in your love life?

When love seems to be slamming the door in your face, it’s important to remember the windows you’ve opened for yourself. These can be personal goals met, adversities overcome at work, self-expression achieved through art, or the contribution made by helping others. And don’t forget the other types of love all around you! The bonds you have with family and friends are more important than a few relative strangers’ decisions on whether or not to date you. The support of people who care about you can even be the springboard that allows you to jump back into the dating pool.

Think Like a Salesperson

Have you ever had a job where you had to sell something expensive, such as a car or a set of diamond earrings? When people are shopping for someone dear to them, they’re highly selective, and many people walk out of the shop without buying. It doesn’t mean that your cars aren’t fast or your diamonds aren’t sparkly. These people may just want a car with more seat belts or different hubcaps, or they may simply be willing to settle for an amethyst.

A good salesman knows that every sale is important, but he also knows how to size up a person who’s not buying, so he can get on with his day and make a real sale. In the world of dating, make sure you don’t spend too much time or emotional capital on the people who are on the fence. Feel confident in yourself, and save your best sales pitch for the buyers who really like your brand.

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beans1978 is ready, fire, AIM!!!

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Posts: 15

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Enter the trading environment and you're faced with "rejection" on a daily basis.

Rejection is rejection, its all about psychology.

Being present in the moment can turn the fun on if you look at it from that perspective. But it is hard at times, but just being aware of it, you're somewhat present in the moment and having fun.

- June 12, 2008 08:48 PM

Boston suburbs

Posts: 145

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Rejection has become such a fact of life for me on eHarmony it's amazing I am not numb to it. And it's not getting closed off by new matches or even matches I have been in communication with. It's those who I made the effort...e-mailed six or seven times...called up a few times...and went on a date that is what I am talking about. This process can take a month or even longer depending on the person...you devote so much time and effort, getting to know the person and everything, only to get a "closed" message a few days after the date or even worse, just ignored phone calls.

I hear all the time that dating should be "fun". But if you know that the date you have with someone will be the last time you ever see them, how can you think back at it as being "fun"? Maybe at the time it was fun, but not two days after the fact!

- June 12, 2008 08:29 PM

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justin007 wrote:

Best things i have found is to be yourself.

Do not be nervous or anxious.

Let go and just have fun.

You control what your mind is filled with.

Choose to fill it with good thoughts.

; ) : ) : )

Yeah..

BUT how does one accomplish this, especially one who has never developed "mind over emotions"? one who does not WANT to "control" life?

; )

- June 12, 2008 10:16 AM

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