eHarmony Profile Makeover: May 2008

Not getting any response from your matches? Your profile might need a makeover. This month, our experts helped one lucky (and anonymous) eHarmony member tweak her About Me profile! Learn step-by-step tips that could help you attract The One!

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So, you’ve set up an account with eHarmony. You’re ready to start receiving matches but there’s one problem. You have no idea what to say in your About Me profile.

It’s a common feeling. Self-promotion is something that doesn’t come easily for a lot of people. You know you are a good person, a fun date, but how do you express that in a couple of hundred words?

Well, eHarmony Advice’s About Me Profile Makeover is here to help. We’ve selected an anonymous volunteer to have their profile critiqued and made over by a panel of experts.

As you’ll see, the main concern with the profile is a lack of information, and we’ve helped to provide some filler. Check out May2008’s Profile Makeover.

1. What the Experts Say: This is a good start, but this answer needs work. First, since May2008 is obviously well-rounded, there is a lot of room to get more specific. What kind of instruments does she play? Does she sing? Play in a band?

Second, traveling around the world—great! Where? When? What was the best place she’s ever experienced? The last line indicates that she’s passionate about helping people. In what capacity? Does she go on volunteer trips?

Lastly, many users complain of grammatical errors in profiles and May2008’s could use a good proofread. There isn’t much attention paid to grammar, capitalization, or punctuation in this profile.

2. What the Experts Say: Good!

3. What the Experts Say: We all know the problem with this answer: it's too short. Moreover, the question asks about one specific person and May2008 lists “her best friends” as the answer. Why not focus on a single friend who’s been an inspiration and then tell us why?

4. What the Experts Say: Good!

5. What the Experts Say: What struck us about this is that points the first and third points seem to conflict with one another. From the first point we ascertain that May2008 strives for simplicity, but from the last we see that perhaps she’s ambitious, at least on a personal level. She should clear this up and elaborate.

Also, we need and want to know more. What kind of simple things does she take pleasure in? The sound of rain drumming on the roof? A sunny day? What kind of cultural events does she attend? The opera? Gallery openings? What kind of personal goals? It’s best not to let this get too personal. We recommend strongly against saying things like, “I am working on my anger issues.” No one needs to know this from your profile!

6. What the Experts Say: This needs to be narrowed down. We understand if you want to mention more than one quality that’s important, but May2008 should explain why these traits are important to her. Let’s take the last trait she lists: open-minded.

“Because I like to travel to different parts of the world, open-mindedness is very important to me. I am looking for someone’s who’s curious about and accepting of other cultures, languages, and customs. I am seeking a person who likes to explore and is looking for an adventure.”

Now, this may not be exactly true, but this answer is a little tighter than the one that now exists. The last sentence insinuates that May2008 is fun and hopeful about the future—definitely a positive.

7. What the Experts Say: Again, the problem with this answer is brevity. A great sense of humor is a gift, something worth flaunting. Don’t feel like tapping into your funny bone? At least give an answer that’s a full sentence!

I have a great sense of humor and enjoy making other people laugh. I look at my sense of humor as a natural stress deterrent because I am able to laugh at even the most harrowing situations. I think it’s one of my best qualities and one that I look for in another person.

8. What the Experts Say: This answer is a little confusing in its context. This sentiment either needs to be expressed as a response to another question or it needs to be expanded upon.

Why is it that you wish people could see that you are a traditional person from simply looking at you? What about your value system is traditional? Like many responses before, May2008 puts a very important statement out there and then abandons it. Her matches want to know more about her and this is a perfect opportunity for her to give insight regarding something very important about her.

9. What the Experts Say: How someone spends their time when they are not at work is very important. Essentially, it’s what sets you apart from others. Your hobbies and interests are what, well, make you interesting.

From the little she reveals about herself, we get the sense that May2008 has an intriguing array of hobbies. She plays music and likes to travel—but we already knew that from answer 2.

10. Good Response!

11. What the Experts Say: May2008 only answered one of the three questions posed here. The response doesn’t need to be a book report, but giving the reader something to grab onto would be better. Or, you could ignore the questions but give a similarly relevant response:

"I love to spend my free time reading fiction. I love entering into different worlds through the written word. It’s very relaxing!"

12. What the Experts Say: This is a nonresponsive response! May2008 shouldn’t be able to get out of this question that easily. We understand it’s difficult to get personal here, but you can do it by being playful and interesting.

"My friends would tell you that I’m really a softy on the inside, but on the outside I sometimes appear tough."

13. What the Experts Say: There's too much white space in this box! End on a positive note so your matches will remember you. "I’m funny and lots of fun to be around."
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Bowling Green, OH

Posts: 1

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My biggest problem with my profile is that I'm a raw food vegan, and I don't know whether it's a good idea to post that in an initial profile. It's important to me and something that I'm not willing to change for someone, so on the one hand, I feel like I should include it. On the other, I don't want to turn someone off who might be willing to accept it after getting to know me first. I would love to know if I should include information about it, and if yes, how detailed it should be and what to actually say about it.

Plus I'm a little rare in that I don't drink, but I still love going out to bars. I feel like I'm comiing across as somewhat defensive in writing about that in my profile, but I think that people sometimes get an entirely wrong impression of me when they see that I don't drink. It seems like such a fine line sometimes of how much information to include.

- June 30, 2008 11:18 AM

Riverside, CA

Posts: 5

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I loved this article. I especially liked that they elaborated on the need for specific examples. I additionally enjoyed reading response examples that are bad for profiles. A good example of this is, "I am currently battling a divorce". The article advises that this type of information is uneceessary for an initial profile.Cool

- June 29, 2008 05:18 PM

Lyssa Home! Being spoiled in a new relationship!

Portland, OR

Posts: 69

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I would love to have somebody review my profile. I have an unusual life with some challenges that make it very hard for me to feel that I'm following "truth in advertising" without presenting myself negatively. I'm both a widow & disabled but I am a happy woman who misses the romantic part of her life. It was all so easy when I was still working, but now I don't have those multiple social contacts anymore and am often bewildered by what I'm supposed to do.

I really want more text box choices, sometimes I don't really agree with any of the choices they give us. And I definitely want to know if someone is turning away from me because of my faith.. I'm not going to change my faith so it gives me a clear message that I should try to cajole them into giving us a second chance..

I'd also like to be able to point someone to a blog, that way if they really want to get to know me they can. But the rules about anything resembling a website referral cut that chance away.

Ironically the other thing I would really like on the site is the ability to choose my own font. At least that way I could say something about myself stylistically.

- May 23, 2008 03:20 AM

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