5 Methods for Getting Over Your Ex

Heartbreak is never fun, but deal with your feelings in a positive way and you'll never look back on what once was.

5 Methods for Getting Over Your Ex
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Living with the memory of your ex can be a pretty painful and frustrating thing to deal with. Unfortunately, there is no magical pill or potion that can help you feel whole and normal again after you’ve experienced a painful breakup.

Time is the only thing that will heal you completely, but there are some things you can do to speed the process along. If you’re searching high and low for ways to get over your ex, check out the five tips below for some helpful ideas.

1. Acceptance

It can be really hard to accept that you’ve lost someone you love. However, acceptance is the first step to really healing the pain that you’re feeling. Do you still call your ex, drive by his or her house, write letters or initiate contact in other ways? These types of behavior will not allow you to accept and heal the way you need to. Stop contacting your ex and make a conscious decision to move on with your own life. When it gets really tough for you to accept that you and your ex are over, never underestimate the power of ‘moving on’ songs and chocolate ice cream.

2. Call Up the Girls or Guys

Another thing that can really help you get over your ex is getting back into your social circles. Call up your friends and make plans with them – even if you don’t feel like going. This will give you a chance to catch up on the important gossip, laugh a little bit and feel a little more normal. Friends can be a really amazing source of support when you’re feeling terrible. You can also go over the details of the relationship and breakup as much as you want without having to pay an hourly fee – feedback and opinions are included.

3. Work on Improving Yourself

When you’re feeling lower than low, one of the greatest things you can do is work on improving yourself. Start a new, healthful diet to feel better about your health. Take a few classes at your local community college where you can meet new people and broaden your horizons. Go on a trip. Do things that make you feel better about yourself. Being proactive is a great way to speed up the healing and gain new self-esteem and confidence.

4. Find a Passion

Creative outlets are underrated. Try different types of art such as painting, writing, photography or something similar. This will allow you to express yourself on a deeper level, which is really great for your emotional health. You might even discover that you have a hidden talent! Participating in art calms the body and mind, allowing you to reduce the stress, frustration and pain that you’re feeling now.

5. Keep Your Sense of Humor

If you can’t laugh at yourself and your situation, you’re doomed! While heartache is not a funny subject, finding humor in the midst of all that pain is very healing. Realizing the silly mistakes you make sometimes or the hilarious situations that you get yourself into are great ways of finding the humor in your situation. Laughter is very healing and allows us hope and a sense of well-being that we need in order to move on with a happy, healthy life.

While heartache is a terrible thing to suffer through, it will get better. By utilizing the five tips above, you can feel better, take control of your life and move on!

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fino4beat wrote:

Well, MY friends are tired of hearing about it. So I come here and bore you guys to death with it. At least y'all can't make me shut up. Smile

I hear you. My friends and family are probably contemplating avoiding me and my calls at about this point. What's your story? These discussion boards are great, huh?

- December 22, 2008 07:58 AM

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The five tips are great if you believe that Love is something that comes and goes.

I believe your comments to be glib and of no real value.

True Love, Pure Love never goes away and there is always a hole where that person once was

- December 03, 2008 04:01 AM

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austhikr wrote:

sun_beach wrote:

I think acceptance is the big key, as well. My mantra is that if the relationship isn't right for the other person, then it isn't right for me. I don't want to be in a one-way relationship. I would rather a person leave the relationship then not put 100% into it and/or be unhappy in it. That leaves you doing all the work to keep it going and salvage it. That's no good.

That's not to say that's it's easy getting over someone. And the way the relationship ends has a lot to do with how quickly you can get over it. It says a lot about someone's character in the way they leave a relationship. Keep that in mind, too.

Sometime ago I read a comment on a blog that I really liked. The blogger said when/if someone ends a relationship to take the attitude that you're leaving and ride off into the sunset. Sort of like taking all of your good qualities and integrity and riding off to find someone else (or be available for someone to find you) who will appreciate you -- tip your hat in gratitude for the experience and proceed into the sunset and don't look back.

Thank you for making some really valuable points, including pointing out that someone's behavior upon making an exit can seriously affect getting on with it. It is indeed a great indication of character. I've been getting over the abrupt end of what seemed to be an ideal relationship with, of all people, a psychologist. He disappeared with no conversation, argument, discussion, with finally an email indicating that he was ill and couldn't "socialize". I never had the opportunity for a face to face or even phone conversation to ask why, and several months later it has been hard to get this out of my mind - is he seriously ill, what's going on, might he resurface? I finally contacted one of his close friends in the last couple of days to ask why, and was treated very empathetically and honestly by someone who finally gave me some answers. This friend actually contacted my ex and suggested it would be the right thing to do to have a conversation to end things on a compassionate note. Told him that I'd prefer he hadn't done that, but he thought it was the right thing. Don't expect to hear from this person. Nice to know he's out there giving advice, analyzing others, and working in the justice system.

Anyone who would walk away from a love relationship with no explanation is revealing a real character issue - complete cowardice. To never make contact again is to show another - real selfishness. My friends have told me that along the way, but what he did really did a number on me!

OMG! Atleast I'm not alone!!! That has been the hardest part of my breakup for me. After feeling neglected and that I was possibly being kept "on the back burner" and strung-along, I had made a call to offer a "break up." (Which he denied wanting...) After hearing nothing for a few more days, I sent a very kindly worded e-mail basically saying, I just couldn't continue on that way. The response? NADA---Nothing! (This is SO cruel, because it's hard to get closure this way! However, that reponse---NOTHING---tells me alot about this person's character. Can you say---COWARD?!?) I could NOT be with a man who lacked this kind of CHARACTER. It takes guts to be honest, to tell the truth, to have a difficult conversation, to do the RIGHT THING!

Anyone who cannot do this---was NOT worthy of me to begin with. I am anything but a coward and a liar! The closure I am getting comes from knowing that this person either lacked the character, the courage, the ability, the honesty, the nobility, self-pride, or any sense of fairness or obligation to DO THE RIGHT THING!

- November 18, 2008 07:01 PM

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