5 Hard-Learned Love Lessons

Some of the love lessons you learn in life and love may be hard to swallow, but they'll ultimately make you a stronger, healthier, and happier individual.


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While there are very few guarantees in life and love, one thing's for sure. Along the road toward happily ever after, there will be plenty of bumps. But that doesn't necessarily make the journey unpleasant. In fact, some of the lessons you learn in life and love may be hard to swallow, but ultimately make you a stronger, healthier, and happier individual. What follows are five hard-learned love lessons. See which ones you've already encountered, as well as the ones you've yet to experience.

Lesson #1: Some Relationships are Temporary

When you acknowledge that some relationships are temporary, you learn to stop blaming yourself for what you perceive as relationship failures, and instead see them for what they are – valuable life lessons. With the benefit of hindsight, it's probably clear that the relationships that ended were with partners who weren't your perfect match.

Maybe your personalities didn't mesh, your goals and future vision were not aligned, or your priorities conflicted. As painful as these breakups can be, they happen for a reason. Not only that, but if you're totally honest with yourself, you'll admit that you're much better off as a result of the relationship and breakup than you would have been had you never experienced the love and loss in the first place.

Lesson #2: Learn/Apply your Lessons Quickly

Just as breakups happen for a reason, the lessons you learn as a result of heartache are valuable as well. For example, you may never have known the importance of being with someone who makes you a priority had you not gone through a relationship where your partner put work, friends, and hobbies before you. Or you may not have realized the importance of healthy family relationships until you dated someone whose family life was incredibly dysfunctional. Not only is it important to identify the lessons you learn along the journey toward happily ever after, but you owe it to yourself to apply the lessons learned, paying attention to red flags as they are revealed to you in the future.

Lesson #3: Your partner Cannot fix you or your Life

Once upon a time, women were raised to believe that Prince Charming would one day swoop in on a white steed and save them from whatever they didn't like about themselves or their lives. In 2008, this antiquated fairy tale is in need of a major rewrite. In fact, if your perfect partner were to arrive in the middle of your messy and miserable life, chances are he would make a hasty retreat. Which is why it's essential to take steps to fix whatever it is that you don't enjoy about your life, starting today. If you don't like your job, do something about it. If you're burdened by debt, take steps to remedy the situation, day by day, week by week. Don't expect some guy to solve your problems or rescue you from your everyday existence. It's just not going to happen. Instead, it's up to you to rescue yourself.

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19 comments on “5 Hard-Learned Love Lessons


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Wow, reading this article could not have come at a better time for me. I was just getting over a relationship of six months, he stopped calling. It took me approx. 6 months to start feeling better about life, then he just poof he starts calling again. What did I do but start falling into this unhealthy relationship, again!! I decided a couple of weeks ago, that I cannot do this anymore. So, I lost his phone number, took it off of my phone and and once again moving on. It will take time again, but somehow I feel better and stonger.

Thanks for the article, I find that I am truly on the right track.

- November 03, 2008 11:49 AM

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noseyparker wrote:

Excellent article! Our matches suffer if we don't take time to heal from a breakup or if we are just not ready for a relationship.

"Our matches suffer if we don't take time to heal from a breakup or if we are just not ready for a relationship." WOW, do I ever agree with this!! I thought I had a good thing going with a wonderful person. Then just like that, he discloses he is probably not over his wife; only it didn't happen like that. It was so hurtful! A few days later, I collected myself and in kindest manner I told him that I had suffered as a result of his failure to face this issue. I assmed complete responsibility for my choices and decisions regarding him and my present feelings, thoughts, and actions. Fortunately, I have also learned how much I have matured since my own divorce. Life goes on and I have healed!

- September 11, 2008 06:26 AM

Sydney

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Dear DarkheartX,

What they say is true: "Time heals all wounds." So you may feel "bad" now but believe me, it will get better!

However, if you want to move forward, you've got to let go of the past. So remembering of how it used to be does not help. Leave your burdens behind you and move forward. Life is too short to dwell on the past, so don't waste time doing that.

Tomorrow is another day. Good luck!

M

- September 10, 2008 06:19 PM

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