3 Keys to What You Want

Whether your goal is to fall in love, shape up your unhealthy habits or be more social, there are three key steps that help ensure success. Are you ready to get what you want?


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In the busy day-to-day life, it’s easy for goals and dreams to be swayed by responsibilities and routines that create a divide between life lived and one longed for. Additionally, many single people think that finding a committed relationship will be the ticket to personal happiness, but once they become involved in one are surprised to find that they still feel somewhat unfulfilled.

The good news is that it doesn't have to be that way. Whether you are single, casually dating, or are in a more committed relationship, you can cultivate your own genuine happiness with who you are by practicing three simple steps to get what you want.

1. Make a list of what you want. It may sound simple, but making a list of what you want in life can be the most difficult step to change. Be as specific as possible; generality is the death of even the most well-intentioned goals. If your goal is to fall in love, know which qualities that person should have. If you want to get into shape, what would success be for you? Is it a 8-minute mile, or to get into your "skinny" jeans? Do you need to widen your social circle? How wide is the circle you imagine?

2. Make a list of ways to get there. Every good dream and goal needs a plan, and many times there are different ways to get to the same place. The best plan is one that has been thought out with multiple options so that you can choose the best path for you. For instance, if your goal is to get back into the same great shape you were in your early college years, what can you do to attain that goal? For some a personal trainer is a must, along with a nutritionist. For others, choosing a diet plan online that suits their individual needs like www.ediets.com is the key. If falling in love is your objective, and you’re on eHarmony, commit to take each of your matches seriously, even if you’re not sure about the photo. Many of successful couples will tell you that they weren’t sure at first just based on profile alone. Also, try investing in your own happiness by taking up a hobby you’ve never had time for or become involved in an activity you’ve always wanted to do. There's nothing more attractive than someone who has their own happy life who can share it with another.

3. Break it down into smaller steps. Bigger goals and dreams rarely happen overnight, even though it can sometimes look that way. In fact, successful achievement of goals is really a culmination of a series of smaller successes that are part of the larger goal. Each small step achieved gets you closer to the big picture you've always wanted to create, like completing a jigsaw puzzle. So break down your big goals and your chosen options on how to achieve them into small mini-goals. Some people need baby-bites and others need bigger steps, so choose which step size works best for you. For those who needs the smaller steps to stay focused, revisit your list often to stay on track. After a while, you’ll reach your larger goal and will be able to look back your choices and will then be armed with the tools to set new goals in all different areas of your life. The goal-setting process will become easier and easier, and your life will become more successful in ways you only reserved for daydreaming throughout your busy day.
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To 2305DEE try to pursue one of your interests this year. I recently took up kayaking and I absolutely love it. Having alot in common with the other person is important.
- January 06, 2008 03:22 AM

Tampa, FL

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Great pragmatic advice. I get so tired of the magical thinking (just envision what you desire and it will come to you) garbage that many other women took away from reading "The Secret" as a fast-path to fulfillment. Sure, having a clear picture of your destination, what you truly want, is crucial to any journey. You have to know where you're going. But these 3 steps state the hard work you have to take to progress on that path, with all the mid-course corrections that'll be necessary -- detours, wash-outs, and bridges you have to build along the way. It's an adventure we're on here, gang. We get to draw our own maps! Then we have to gas up and get on the road -- ready to change the oil regularly and fix a few flats as we go. See y'all on the road!
- December 18, 2007 07:20 AM

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Hi Roberta; Ya, you are right about lot of men who have been burned. They are afraid to get involved again and this should not be so. When a marriage or relationship finishes, it is over and both should go there own ways in life. They shouldn't bother each other and just go on. There are so many single men and women in this world to spend valuable time with, why waste time arguing or putting each other down. Mature adults should be able to bury their bad feelings and give good feelings to thier new mate. Good luck with your relationships and no hard feelings. from Haruo
- August 25, 2007 11:05 PM

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