Whether your goal is to fall in love, shape up your unhealthy habits or be more social, there are three key steps that help ensure success. Are you ready to get what you want?
In the busy day-to-day life, it’s easy for goals and dreams to be swayed by responsibilities and routines that create a divide between life lived and one longed for. Additionally, many single people think that finding a committed relationship will be the ticket to personal happiness, but once they become involved in one are surprised to find that they still feel somewhat unfulfilled.
The good news is that it doesn't have to be that way. Whether you are single, casually dating, or are in a more committed relationship, you can cultivate your own genuine happiness with who you are by practicing three simple steps to get what you want.
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1. Make a list of what you want. It may sound simple, but making a list of what you want in life can be the most difficult step to change. Be as specific as possible; generality is the death of even the most well-intentioned goals. If your goal is to fall in love, know which qualities that person should have. If you want to get into shape, what would success be for you? Is it a 8-minute mile, or to get into your "skinny" jeans? Do you need to widen your social circle? How wide is the circle you imagine?
2. Make a list of ways to get there. Every good dream and goal needs a plan, and many times there are different ways to get to the same place. The best plan is one that has been thought out with multiple options so that you can choose the best path for you. For instance, if your goal is to get back into the same great shape you were in your early college years, what can you do to attain that goal? For some a personal trainer is a must, along with a nutritionist. For others, choosing a diet plan online that suits their individual needs like www.ediets.com is the key. If falling in love is your objective, and you’re on eHarmony, commit to take each of your matches seriously, even if you’re not sure about the photo. Many of successful couples will tell you that they weren’t sure at first just based on profile alone. Also, try investing in your own happiness by taking up a hobby you’ve never had time for or become involved in an activity you’ve always wanted to do. There's nothing more attractive than someone who has their own happy life who can share it with another.
3. Break it down into smaller steps. Bigger goals and dreams rarely happen overnight, even though it can sometimes look that way. In fact, successful achievement of goals is really a culmination of a series of smaller successes that are part of the larger goal. Each small step achieved gets you closer to the big picture you've always wanted to create, like completing a jigsaw puzzle. So break down your big goals and your chosen options on how to achieve them into small mini-goals. Some people need baby-bites and others need bigger steps, so choose which step size works best for you. For those who needs the smaller steps to stay focused, revisit your list often to stay on track. After a while, you’ll reach your larger goal and will be able to look back your choices and will then be armed with the tools to set new goals in all different areas of your life. The goal-setting process will become easier and easier, and your life will become more successful in ways you only reserved for daydreaming throughout your busy day.
[FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black]Dawn,[/COLOR][/FONT]
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[FONT=Comic Sans MS]I've gone through many of the same things you have. When I went for counseling during my divorce, I was told often the children of abuse side with the abuser. I had no idea I was even in an abusive marriage until my therapist got in my face about it. I'm working so hard to teach my daughters how to remain feminine yet be strong women. [/FONT]
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[FONT=Comic Sans MS]The youngest has been in several abusive relationships. Her current boyfriend seems much better than all the previous ones. She has so much fear because of what she's lived through so early in life. To think she was once a very talented ballet dancer...so exquisite to watch on stage. [/FONT]
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[FONT=Comic Sans MS]My oldest is going through a divorce, finally after many years of trying to help her see this is the best decision for everyone. [/FONT]
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[FONT=Comic Sans MS]I feel so much guilt about teaching my girls to be in these poor relationships with men. My parents had a loving, romantic marriage until the very end. I'm unsure how I ever got myself into the mess I did. What's worse is that I stayed, out of a sense of duty, for 36 years. My daughters tell me it would have been much better for them had I gotten a divorce much earlier. [/FONT]
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[FONT=Comic Sans MS]After 2 1/2 years of separation and 3 1/2 years divorced, we are all really doing so much better but it's been a very long road to travel. After living a very good life with lots of stuff, I was on the verge of homelessness and had to go through Chapter 7 bankruptcy. I walked away from two businesses and all our assets just to get away from all the legal maneuvering that kept me in the marriage. I've struggled for financial balance up until now. Finally, I'm beginning to have a little breathing room again. And I'm in my late 50's working without a net![/FONT]
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[FONT=Comic Sans MS]Truthfully, my ex husband might be a wonderful partner to someone other than me. We seemed to bring out the worst in each other. In many ways, he's a very good man. [/FONT]
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[FONT=Comic Sans MS]The very best thing I did for myself, was to join Al-Anon. I learned so much about myself and those I love. Most importantly I learned about my relationship with my higher power. I've learned so much about grace and humility. It helped speed along the healing process. While my ex drank heavily towards the end of our marriage, I do not think he's an alcoholic. He now drinks very little and seems to be able to easily control that aspect of his life. [/FONT]
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[FONT=Comic Sans MS]I wish you the very best and hope you find some way to cope and rebound from your current situation. [/FONT]
I understand. I watched my mom go through the same thing, and as a child it was hard to deal with. I swore I'd never follow in her foot steps and now I have. My husband is not good to me, it is not as bad as other peoples situations but its not right for me. We have a child and it makes it hard to leave, plus I feel guilty because he always needs help. But the only advice I can give is talk to people who have been in the same situations and learn from their experiences and never give up on your daughter, she is just very confused. god bless you and your family
To 2305DEE try to pursue one of your interests this year. I recently took up kayaking and I absolutely love it. Having alot in common with the other person is important.
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